The City of Lost Children

So, basically, this crazy scientist guy is stealing children to…harvest their dreams I guess you could say? So, first of all…I guess I should rewind a bit…This man, an incredible inventor guy, had no children, no family…so he decided to create some for himself. He created a wife, five or six sons (I can’t remember) who look identical to him, this giant brain, and basically the most intelligent man on the face of the earth. The thing is, something…I’m not sure if this little fact was omitted or if I just totally missed it…but I’m not sure exactly WHAT it was…anyway. Something put a curse on this little family that he created. His wife was super short, his children fell asleep spontaneously, the brain was prone to migraines, and lastly, the intelligent man, could not dream. SO because of this, he is ageing extremely fast…and attempts to steal children’s dreams so he can finally experience what it is to dream.
The main character One is this big, simple, ‘strong man’ whose little brother is kidnapped by this scientist. He really reminded me of like…Will Ferell on steroids…and like, a good actor :P. Most of the movie is about him going and searching for his brother…
He builds this extremely creepy (in my opinion) relationship with this little girl. She’s helping him find his little brother, actually, she’s the one who ultimately saves him in the end. She is obviously in love with him…you know, little girl crush…but its HIM that just creeped me out insanely ughh… :P It was weird.
I mean they’re so many weird things…these conjoined twins, evil fleas…really strange shit.
It was in French…so, unfortunately, I wasn’t as focused on the overall picture as I would have liked to be…it had a really cool tone to it, and I’d definitely want to watch it again to be able to see more of the visuals…now that I know exactly what’s going on.
It was overall really good (: I liked it…the ending was a bit predictable. All the “bad guys” get blown up, and One, his little brother, and his new little…friend…are all safe and happy :P
It was good though. Unique. I liked it. It actually reminded me of a really fucked up, and good, Golden Compass…the whole child stealing idea :P

7.5/10

The Human Centipede

Okay! There has been huuuuuuge talk about this movie haha. About how disturbing and disgusting it was. How people threw up watching it, left the theatre, turned it off, didn’t make it through…so, naturally I had to see it. See if it lived up to the title of one of the most disturbing movies of all time.
My first complaint would have to be how typical everything is…starts off with two young tourists…women…whose car breaks down. Oh, and its raining :P
They find a house, and whose inside? A creepy German surgeon who has a guy locked in his basement strapped to a medical bed and pumped with random shit, tubes all over the place.
Obviously, the girls find themselves strapped to beds beside the guy…and, unfortunately for the guy, he doesn’t match up with the two girls…so…buh bye :(
We get a little Asian guy now, and man…he is feisty! Haha he does NOT stop screaming and yelling in like Korean or something the entire movie!
The doctor then proceeds to tell the three of them how he plans to attach them via their digestive tract and cut the muscles in their knee joints to make a human centipede. Food entering through the first person, traveling through the second, and exiting the third…their knees like, butchered, so they have to choice but to crawl.
He performs the actual surgery fairly quickly into the movie…probably a third of the way in. The next third of the movie is him interacting with this thing he created…
I read that this was supposed to be a dark comedy :P and…the more I get over the ‘what the fuck’ thoughts, I see that it really did have its twisted funny moments :P
There is one point, before he sews them together, that the one girl escapes…she is running all around the house, until she runs into the pool room and falls into the pool. Obviously, the doctor catches up with her…and he makes this very serious and intense speech about why he is glad she tried to escape and blah blah blah…and he ends this speech by saying…something along the lines of: “Do you know the real reason why I am glad you tried to escape me?…. Because now…I know, you will be the middle piece!”
Omg…I found that so funny! I seriously, could not stop laughing! Haha.
Anyway, there is another scene when he is trying to train the centipedey thing to fetch the newspaper…its just…extremely humorous :P
I also absolutely loved the ending…the cops come. They come because of the missing girls, and the doctor, being the dumbass he is, totally blows his cover. So…they leave to get a warrant, and he goes to get the centipede…well, the asian guy, in the front, stabs him in the legs…so, we have this centipede and this legless doctor, chasing, crawling, all over the house :P
Finally, the centipede goes into this room, and the doctor is right behind them…Asian dude gets a lamp…cause he wants to smash the window to get out…but stupidly, turns towards the doctor…and when you think that he MIGHT do something smart (aka smash the doctor in the face with the lamp) He decides it would be a great time to do a speech! After he does his speech about I don’t even know…I was laughing too hard…something about human nature, and society, and his sister, and humanity…he takes a piece of glass and slits his throat. Well, that’s just great…
Now, we have a centipede with a dead front…perfect. You dumb shit!
Cops come back. Try and find the doctor…the doctor shoots the one. The other one, the stupid one, goes and sees ‘ohh a gunshot…lemme go and take a peek’ Well, no shit. He gets shot too. BUT he is able to simultaneously shoot the doctor too…so, we killed two idiotic birds with one stone there.
Now we’re back…and guess who is looking just a bit blue? The back piece of the centipede…perfect timing! Her mouth/the other girls ass is like infected…so, that’s not so good…and basically, she dies. Leaving the middle piece, yes, the feisty one from the beginning, alone in a house with two dead cops, a dead doctor, and a dead asian sewed to her mouth and her dead best friend sewed to her ass :P
I have to say, I actually found this movie quite humorous. And the less serious I take it, the more I enjoy it.

6.8/10

28 Days Later

So…it’s based on a book by Alex Garland...an author I've heard great things about and a book that is among the many on my 'to read' list.
Directed by Danny Boyle…who did The Beach, also based on a novel by Alex Garland, which I have yet to read and see. He also did Trainspotting…Sunshine…Slumdog Millionaire I think…that’s all I can think of right now.
Basically it is about this weird virus that was in these chimps, that these activists set free. The disease causes complete rage and when spread to humans, they basically destroyed each other, or committed suicide in fear…
Anyway...the VERY beginning was good, it was okay...then it started to go downhill for me. I couldn't really see where they were trying to go...the plot kind of seemed to disappear. Then the third quarter was great. It died down again for the last quarter but it was still better than the majority of the beginning half.
The main character is the guy from Red Eye I believe...the bad guy, and I think he’s in Sunshine too.
He's a creepy looking guy, and I don't think he was that great of an actor...and not because of the fact that I think he’s creepy…if anything, I would consider that to be an advantage.
The other main character was Selena...I liked her. Besides the fact that she had a really kick ass haircut, she started off as a hardass and softened up a bit by the end, possible a bit too much.
some of the events that happened were very predictable....and some were unpredictable however completely unrealistic, even for a movie.
I think this movie was attempting to show how savage humans are...maybe compare the non infected with being almost as savage as those infected with “rage”.... and it started off in the right track, but it didn’t go all the way.
I mean, there are a group of survivors hunting for women to rape basically to restart civilization....one of these girls happened to be a young teen.
But they never end up raping them...
And I'm not saying I wanted it to happen...but I think they should have insinuated that it was happening, or let us hear it or something, I don’t know…I probably sound incredibly sick right now.
But if your trying to show what monsters humans can be, just go all the way!
It was hard trying to decide which was worse…the fact that the entire human race was about to become extinct because of this virus, or the fact that the entire human race could possible be rebuilt by these supposedly sick and twisted men.
I think the human race being repopulated by these maniacs had the potential to be more frightening, and should have been more upsetting, however as I said before, they didn’t go as far as they could have with the pathetic remains of mankind.
overall it was okay
I think I'd rather read the book, I’m planning on it...and I hope it's better.

6/10