The Blair Witch Project

I’ve been wanting to see this movie for quite some time now. I’ve heard good things from people whose opinions I trust…but I’ve also heard people saying it’s one of the worst movies they’ve ever seen. Those two facts alone almost always make me want to see a movie.
Also, I’m a fan of the style that it was filmed in…similar to Cloverfield etc.
Basically, these three friends are making a documentary on the Blair Witch, who is said to haunt this local forest. After interviewing a few people around the town, they travel in to the forest, set up camp, and stay the night…filming almost everything as they go. Unfortunately, things start going south after the first night…when they cant find their way back to their car. They end up spending another night in the forest…hearing strange noises this time.
They pretty much conclude the next day that they are lost, and one of the guys even admits to kicking the map into the river, which enrages both the other people. They continue to hear strange things, mostly at night, and they stumble across strange things during the day. One of the guys, Josh I believe, ends up missing about ¾ of the way through. Dun dun dunnn.
I’ve talked to a few people about their “theories” as to what is exactly going on, and what happens at the end of the movie…and the majority of the people I talk to bombard me with questions as to why the witch does what she does to the characters at the end of the film…and why she lets some other unknown party come and collect the tapes that recorded what went down. People have themselves really worked up over what/why this witch is doing what she’s doing.
MY theory, if that’s what you want to call it, is that there really is no witch…
I mean, at no point throughout the entire movie do we ever get concrete proof that the witch exists…nothing.
My first thought is that it’s Josh setting his friends up…I mean, I obviously don’t think he’s sane…I feel like maybe he went kinda insane? Maybe being paranoid with the Blair Witch curse and being in the forest…it all just got to him?
HIS pack and clothes are the ones that got covered in slime…HE is the one that disappeared…they hear HIM screaming…but as much as they try and find him he seems to avoid it…
I don’t really know…
As for the ending…I’m not really sure what happened…MIKE…yesss I just remembered his name. Mike ends up staring at a wall…screaming? I’m not sure, I don’t remember…
The beginning of the movie states that they remain missing, that they, nor anything that belonged to them, aside from their tapes, was ever found.
On the whole, I really enjoyed the movie…I can see how its kinda a ‘love it or hate it’ kind of movie. As I said before, I’m a sucker for movies that feel like you’re watching a playback of something recorded on a video recorder. I think it gives it an eerie realistic feel that you lose when they put a lot of effort into the professional filming. And although it had the feel of just spontaneous filming, it was obvious when you paid more attention that many of the shots were thought out very thoroughly and some pretty neat shots were achieved.
I also liked the fact that there was a lot left to the imagination…never seeing the witch and the camera turning off and on, cutting out parts…you miss some stuff…for example, we don’t figure out until later that Heather actually took one of the little stick figures that were hanging in the tree.
ANYWAY. I liked it…it kept me entertained.

7.7/10

Snatch.

Directed by Guy Ritchie…biggest names being Brad Pitt and Benicio del Toro. The plot, similarily to Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels is huge mess of people and confusion…in a good way. It’s good, and it’s a style that he makes work.
There are people searching for the monster of a diamond…and people stealing it off of each other, along with a series of rigged boxing matches with a participant that isn’t exactly willing to win and lose when he is supposed to.
Brad Pitt plays Mickey…the gypsy boxer who has a mind of his own. Definitely my favourite character by far…They joke in the film about them having an accent that is not understandable…it not being English or Irish, but seemingly a combination of them both, mixed with pure gibberish. However, I found myself understanding him quite easily…and I’ve come to the conclusion, that his accent sounds extremely similar to that of a Newfie! I know a few people, a friends family actually, that come from Newfoundland and that’s exactly what they sound like. Anyway, off track.
I was actually a little disappointed by how similar I found it to be to Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels…
Some of the same actors were used, some of the characters were extremely similar, the plot was a similar tangled web of murders and stealing.
It was still good. I just would have liked more to see something a little different from the director…because I really enjoyed Lock Stock…
The short, witty comments almost make this movie for me. I laughed non stop…
It was good…I’m going to stop, cause Im not even going to attempt to begin to loosely describe the plot.

8/10

Gummo

So, as much as I have tried…there really isn’t much to the plot of this movie. To sum it up, I guess you could say its primarily about a group of kids living in a small down, pretty much destroyed by a prior tornado. Everyone is living in trailers, killing, torturing, and selling cats for meat. That’s actually a huge part of the movie. The torturing, drowning, and killing of cats by these kids.
The movie is just really really strange.
I’m not entirely sure what the point of it was, or what I was supposed to get out of it.
At first glance I would have said that it’s trying to depict life in a trailer park kinda atmosphere? But I’m not sure if that’s realistic…I just…I don’t really know.
I did like a lot of the characters!
I thought the three sisters were probably the most likable characters…they were cute…naïve…
The bunny boy was also kinda funny.
I liked the scene where the…I would venture to say mentally disabled? Person shaves off her eyebrows…
And the mother of the funny looking kid.
There were a couple of really random scenes that just kinda disturbed me…and surprisingly it was none of the ones involving cats lol.
At one point, this kid is taking a bath…in filthy water, and his mother brings him spagetti and milk to eat while he’s having a bath…
So, he’s eating…and she’s shampooing his hair…and she goes to the door to buy a chocolate bar off of some kid…gives it to him. He drops it…in the water…and then eats it, while soggy chocolate stuff drips out the side of his mouth…and then the scene just continues…
I don’t know, I think I’ll always remember that scene…I just found that really gross…
And the random bacon taped to the wall…
There is just a lot of random shit :P
Anyway, recommendation wise, I think I would definitely recommend people to watch it…I think a lot of people will hate it…
I think its one of those movies that people either love or hate…no real grey area…
Actually…I feel kinda grey about it though :P Uhhh…I think it just needs to marinate…
I’m trying to figure out if it was stupid stupid…or stupid genius :P
I’m not sure.
But it’s so different, and SO strange…I’d recommend it for sure.

6.7/10

The City of Lost Children

So, basically, this crazy scientist guy is stealing children to…harvest their dreams I guess you could say? So, first of all…I guess I should rewind a bit…This man, an incredible inventor guy, had no children, no family…so he decided to create some for himself. He created a wife, five or six sons (I can’t remember) who look identical to him, this giant brain, and basically the most intelligent man on the face of the earth. The thing is, something…I’m not sure if this little fact was omitted or if I just totally missed it…but I’m not sure exactly WHAT it was…anyway. Something put a curse on this little family that he created. His wife was super short, his children fell asleep spontaneously, the brain was prone to migraines, and lastly, the intelligent man, could not dream. SO because of this, he is ageing extremely fast…and attempts to steal children’s dreams so he can finally experience what it is to dream.
The main character One is this big, simple, ‘strong man’ whose little brother is kidnapped by this scientist. He really reminded me of like…Will Ferell on steroids…and like, a good actor :P. Most of the movie is about him going and searching for his brother…
He builds this extremely creepy (in my opinion) relationship with this little girl. She’s helping him find his little brother, actually, she’s the one who ultimately saves him in the end. She is obviously in love with him…you know, little girl crush…but its HIM that just creeped me out insanely ughh… :P It was weird.
I mean they’re so many weird things…these conjoined twins, evil fleas…really strange shit.
It was in French…so, unfortunately, I wasn’t as focused on the overall picture as I would have liked to be…it had a really cool tone to it, and I’d definitely want to watch it again to be able to see more of the visuals…now that I know exactly what’s going on.
It was overall really good (: I liked it…the ending was a bit predictable. All the “bad guys” get blown up, and One, his little brother, and his new little…friend…are all safe and happy :P
It was good though. Unique. I liked it. It actually reminded me of a really fucked up, and good, Golden Compass…the whole child stealing idea :P

7.5/10

The 25th Hour

So, this one is basically about the day before the main character, Monty, played by Edward Norton, goes to jail. He was caught dealing drugs…and was sentenced to 7 years in jail.
Obviously, it starts off in the morning the day before he is set to go to jail. His entire day/night is dedicated to hanging out with his two best friends Jacob and Frank. They go to a club, Jacob, who is a high school teacher, hooks up with one of his students…awkwardly.
There isn’t much to the plot of the movie…we get a little bit of background information on Monty, see him talking with his father, see that he wanted to become a firefighter when he was a kid. It builds up and it keeps building up the entire movie…you feel sorry for him and he grows on you! You really really like this guy by the end of the movie…I mean, the opening scene is him saving a dog who is dying on the side of the street.
Then comes the ending :P I really really loved the ending. I thought it was really smart. When it first started, I was a little disappointed…I was disappointed maybe that that’s what Monty would choose…but also that it seemed like the easy way out…both for the movie and for Money the character…
Then, it REALLY ended…and I really loved it. It was cruel and terrible and you hate to see a character you have grown to love be put through that, but it was beyond effective.
The acting was really good…I love Ed Norton…and Philip Seymour Hoffman was playing Jacob…
One of the scenes that I keep remembering is near the end of the film…Monty confessed that he is terrified of being raped in jail. He’s a good looking guy, he is terrified he is going to get torn apart. He tries to convince his other friend, Frank, to beat him up…really rearrange his face. He has to really antagonize Frank to get him to do it…by threatening Jacob physically. Eventually Frank does give in, and leaves Monty’s face a mess, but is also himself an emotional wreck. That’s how Monty leaves his friends…that was his goodbye…
He walks away from them face bloody and swollen and Jacob is trying to console a hysterical Frank.
I dunno…I thought it was pretty intense.
Oh! Shit!…I almost forgot my favourite part of this movie lol. Even better than the ending I thought…was Monty’s “fuck you” monologue. I thought it was great…
He is in the washroom, and he looks at himself in the mirror…and he’s ranting to himself…saying Fuck You to all the different races and stereo types found in New York…this goes on for like five minutes, him blaming everyone else in New York for his issues and his fuck ups…and then in the end, the Monty in the mirror kind of comes back and says noo…you know what fuck YOU. Basically, your life is yours…and if anyone fucked it up it was you. You had it all…and you fucked it up (:
I really liked it. Done!

7.3/10

Audition

Mkay. So this is like a Korean horror movie…
It starts out with this guy, and his wife passes away. Years later, his son mentions to him that he thinks that his father needs to get out, start dating, perhaps get married again.
So, the man, being a part of the movie industry, sets up an audition for a female lead role that describes what his ideal woman is. Obviously, he finds and falls in love with one of the women who auditioned. The first three quarters of the movie is them building up a relationship basically. We see a little bit into the girls past…which as more and more is revealed to us we find out that she’s had a fucked up childhood…then we figure out that SHE is pretty fucked up as well. It’s a really really slow beginning…they’re building up…and the “climax” is moderately surprising. Because it was advertised as a horror you kinda suspect something is going to happen.
But, when the climax does happen, it wasn’t really…disturbing enough for me :/
I know, I’m probably really fucked up. But I can deal with a really slow build up, but the big BAM better be big and worth it! It just feel short for me a little bit.
My thing is eyeballs…I cannot stannndddd stuff with eyeballs. And in part of her torture…she sticks pins under his eyeballs, and I almost wish they would have shown them getting put in! That would have made me cringe…
But, they didn’t so…ahh well…
One thing that I did love about the movie, and it was really really memorable for me, was what she was saying while she was putting the pins in various areas of his body. Every time she stuck one in she would kinda coo “kikireekireekireeeee…” and it was quite eerie.
Other than that…acting wasn’t fantastic…plot was mehh…wasn’t all that disturbing…
I felt a little bit let down.

5/10

American Psycho

Okay…so, first of all, I have to say that I read the book, American Psycho, a couple weeks before the movie…and I am SO glad I did! I mean, I’m usually glad, but this time, I was REALLY glad.
I loved the book…I thought Bret Easton Ellis was incredibly descriptive, really creative (in the wrongest ways :P) and I just thought it was really well written.
It did lack a plot…it didn’t really go anywhere, but that didn’t even matter, honestly, it wasn’t about that for me. I couldn’t help but laugh every time he would bring up something about killings and it would either be misheard or ignored :P
There was a point where I considered that none of the killings were happening…especially when the fact that the lawyer had lunch with Paul Owens multiple times through his death. But, then it kinda clued in…something else I found amusing…the fact that they were constantly mistaking people for others…something which actually made the book so confusing for me at the beginning.
Now, onto the movie…I’ve been putting this off…cause, I have to say, I was a bit disappointed. It may be sick, but I didn’t think it was near graphic enough.
Also, I don’t think Christian Bale was right at all for the part…I thought he should be more pompous and less monotonous.
Best part of the movie was Willem Dafoe…hands down! That guy was the perfect touch…I loved it.
I mean…I think the conclusion that you are eventually supposed to come down to is…who is crazy? Is it society? Or is it Patrick?
As I said before, I do think that Patrick actually committed the murders, but I’m not sure who is to blame? Society or Patrick? I tend to lean towards society…I do think that Bateman was fucked…but society definitely did not help. I don’t know, I really don’t know lol…
Urghh…so, I was just kinda frustrated by this movie. I still wanted to add more…but I really don’t feel like bitching any more…and a lot of what I have left is just that :/
I’m going to focus on the book…

Book: 9.3/10
Movie: 7.0/10

Antichrist

Mkay. Antichrist. Made in 2009…which is a lot…recenter? Than I had expected. The only two actors in the movie, if you exclude the baby that’s in it for five minutes and the groups of women with their faces blurred out that are in it for five minutes, are Willem Dafoe, who plays the “him” and another actress…I’d never heard of her, so, like usual, I don’t remember her name…in case you didn’t guess, she plays the “her”.
The basic idea is that this couple’s baby falls out of a window and dies while they are having sex. Afterward, the female is not dealing with it well at all. Being a psychiatrist, the husband takes his wife case on himself, and decides to take her somewhere that she is afraid of. It’s a forest called Eden, where they have a cabin and where his wife had spent a great deal of time with her son, working on a book she was writing about gynocide. Things just go south from there, as the husband figures things out about his wife, and she gets out of control.
One thing that I really liked about this movie was that it was divided into six…a prologue, four chapters, and an epilogue. I didn’t like the whole chapter thing at first…but it really came to make sense in the end.
The prologue and epilogue are in black and white…and the prologue is when the couple are having sex and the baby dies. The first chapter is called Grief. The part of the story where they are still at home dealing with their baby’s death is included in this chapter. At the very end, they decide to leave for the forest. The chapter ends with a deer with a stillborn baby hanging out of the womb…
Chapter two is called Pain. It’s basically her treatment at the cabin, getting better and worse…this chapter ends with him seeing a fox like, eating itself.
Chapter three is where it really picked up for me. Dafoe catches on that something is weird. And it turns out, that by going through her books and notes, he realizes that while she was up here trying to write against gynocide, she actually ended up believing that it was true and just and necessary. So, shit happens and he ends up having his genitals smashed by a piece of wood, gets knocked out (obviously…like, shit) and drills a hole in his leg and screws a weight to him so he can’t escape. There is a lot more graphic torture and shit going on in this chapter…but I’m going to skip to the end where Dafoe is trying to smash a crow in the head and kill it with a stone.
The last chapter is called the three beggars. Which kinda pulls everything together. Part of the woman’s study notes included information on the three beggars. Which are the Deer (Grief) the Fox (Pain) and the Crow (Despair). I really liked how they worked that. The woman told Dafoe that the three beggars were coming, and when they did, someone needed to die. I thought it was pretty obvious at this point that she was going to be the one to die. Despite what she did to him…
The prologue consists of Dafoe, limping through the forest, and suddenly, hundreds of women with their faces blurred out come up to greet him.
So, I thought that this movie was actually really really disturbing. I mean, I’ve seen a lot. A lot that have claimed to be ‘most disturbing of the year’ or ‘of all time’. But this one, I would actually consider to live up to that statement.
I thought it was clever how she prevented both her son and her husband from leaving her. Earlier in the movie she says something about her son trying to leave…wander about…when they were in the cabin in the summer, and from photos, Dafoe sees that she began butting his boots on the wrong feet…perhaps to cripple him, or prevent him from leaving? Later in the movie she does something similar to Dafoe, drilling a hole in his leg and attaching a weight to him.
She seems all emotion, all self centered, and not at all intelligent…where as I feel like they made him, for the most part, generally emotionless, concerned more for others than himself, and extremely intelligent. It was interesting…and verging on annoying, the entire time, he kept his doctorly composure.
This is one of the only movies that I have seen in my life that I have felt like I needed to turn away from. Actually, I think I did…when the girl cuts her clit off…man…I could not fucking watch that haha…other than that, I watched the entire thing, but I don’t think I have felt the urge to look away from the screen that much in a looooong time, if ever.

8.1/10

The Human Centipede

Okay! There has been huuuuuuge talk about this movie haha. About how disturbing and disgusting it was. How people threw up watching it, left the theatre, turned it off, didn’t make it through…so, naturally I had to see it. See if it lived up to the title of one of the most disturbing movies of all time.
My first complaint would have to be how typical everything is…starts off with two young tourists…women…whose car breaks down. Oh, and its raining :P
They find a house, and whose inside? A creepy German surgeon who has a guy locked in his basement strapped to a medical bed and pumped with random shit, tubes all over the place.
Obviously, the girls find themselves strapped to beds beside the guy…and, unfortunately for the guy, he doesn’t match up with the two girls…so…buh bye :(
We get a little Asian guy now, and man…he is feisty! Haha he does NOT stop screaming and yelling in like Korean or something the entire movie!
The doctor then proceeds to tell the three of them how he plans to attach them via their digestive tract and cut the muscles in their knee joints to make a human centipede. Food entering through the first person, traveling through the second, and exiting the third…their knees like, butchered, so they have to choice but to crawl.
He performs the actual surgery fairly quickly into the movie…probably a third of the way in. The next third of the movie is him interacting with this thing he created…
I read that this was supposed to be a dark comedy :P and…the more I get over the ‘what the fuck’ thoughts, I see that it really did have its twisted funny moments :P
There is one point, before he sews them together, that the one girl escapes…she is running all around the house, until she runs into the pool room and falls into the pool. Obviously, the doctor catches up with her…and he makes this very serious and intense speech about why he is glad she tried to escape and blah blah blah…and he ends this speech by saying…something along the lines of: “Do you know the real reason why I am glad you tried to escape me?…. Because now…I know, you will be the middle piece!”
Omg…I found that so funny! I seriously, could not stop laughing! Haha.
Anyway, there is another scene when he is trying to train the centipedey thing to fetch the newspaper…its just…extremely humorous :P
I also absolutely loved the ending…the cops come. They come because of the missing girls, and the doctor, being the dumbass he is, totally blows his cover. So…they leave to get a warrant, and he goes to get the centipede…well, the asian guy, in the front, stabs him in the legs…so, we have this centipede and this legless doctor, chasing, crawling, all over the house :P
Finally, the centipede goes into this room, and the doctor is right behind them…Asian dude gets a lamp…cause he wants to smash the window to get out…but stupidly, turns towards the doctor…and when you think that he MIGHT do something smart (aka smash the doctor in the face with the lamp) He decides it would be a great time to do a speech! After he does his speech about I don’t even know…I was laughing too hard…something about human nature, and society, and his sister, and humanity…he takes a piece of glass and slits his throat. Well, that’s just great…
Now, we have a centipede with a dead front…perfect. You dumb shit!
Cops come back. Try and find the doctor…the doctor shoots the one. The other one, the stupid one, goes and sees ‘ohh a gunshot…lemme go and take a peek’ Well, no shit. He gets shot too. BUT he is able to simultaneously shoot the doctor too…so, we killed two idiotic birds with one stone there.
Now we’re back…and guess who is looking just a bit blue? The back piece of the centipede…perfect timing! Her mouth/the other girls ass is like infected…so, that’s not so good…and basically, she dies. Leaving the middle piece, yes, the feisty one from the beginning, alone in a house with two dead cops, a dead doctor, and a dead asian sewed to her mouth and her dead best friend sewed to her ass :P
I have to say, I actually found this movie quite humorous. And the less serious I take it, the more I enjoy it.

6.8/10

A Scanner Darkly

Another one based on a novel by Philip K. Dick…and another one I have yet to read.
It was made in 2006…which surprised me…I thought it was older than that.
Takes place in the future, I can’t recall how far exactly…or if they even tell you?…Basically, a big majority of the country is addicted to drugs…in particular, this new drug, Substance D. Police surveillance is very invasive and intense…Arctor (Keanu Reeves) is meant to go undercover as a drug user…make friends with other drug users (Robert Downey Jr, and Woody Harrelson).
Arctor ends up getting hooked on drugs himself and falls in love with a girl, Winona Ryder, who is providing him with the drugs.
He ends up totally immersed in this new lifestyle…and the hemispheres in his brain are no longer functioning properly…causing him to lose the ability to distinguish between himself as a cop and a drug addict.
I was actually really impressed with the acting in this movie…aside from Keanu Reeves. I’ve never really been a big Keanu Reeves fan, and…I just wasn’t feeling it. Woody Harrelson especially was hilarious. Robert Downey Jr. was really quirky and odd. Even Rory Cochrane was hilarious with his portrayal of a heavy drug user…his facial expressions were just priceless.
The animation was really neat…and I’m sure took an incredibly long time to complete…but I think it was worth it. It made it different…added to the whole…I dunno. I felt like the whole movie I was wondering what was actually real. Were these people believing what they were seeing? Or seeing what they were believing?…kinda thing.
The beginning was a little slow, but it definitely worked itself out in the end…I really loved the ending.
Arctor is sent to rehab to recover…after the cops supposedly figure out that he is actually addicted to drugs too. We find out that their intention all along was to get Arctor addicted. The reason being that the number one rehab center, where people addicted go to recover, is suspected of actually manufacturing and distributing Substance D. In order to get anywhere near the center, you need to be heavily addicted to substance D. The girl, Winona Ryder, who he fell in love with as his drug dealer…was actually his boss. This was unkown to him, because everyone in that field of work wears these scramble suits that make them look like multiple people at once and change very frequently. She was one of the ones most responsible for setting him up. Their hope was to get him in the center, and hope that he still had a little bit of sense left in him, enough to find proof and be able to relay it back to the cops. He is actually sent to do farm work in the rehab center, and stumbles across rows and rows of blue flowers…which just so happen to be what they use to make substance D. The movie ends with him tucking a blue flower into his boot, and saying that its for his friends when he gets to go back and visit in a few months, at Thanksgiving…and that’s how its left off. I really liked the ending…I was hoping that they were going to put a twist in it.
I also liked…after the movie ended, but before the credits, there was a scrolling list of people dead/damaged because of extensive drug use. It was good, overall…and I think I liked it more than Blade Runner…which I’m not sure if that’s strange…from the ratings I’ve read, it seemed like Blade Runner got better reviews…but I found this more entertaining…and had more ‘huh…’ moments :P

8.7/10